Answering Interview Questions

It’s been a long time since I had a “real” job. So, it’s been that long since a potential boss has asked me interview questions. (And it’s also been a long time since I’ve written a blog post—Thank you to those of you who encouraged me to get back to it!)

I came across a list of creative interview questions (here) and chose some fun ones to answer. I don’t know if I’d be hired, but hey… I answered honestly. Would you hire me? (Maybe don’t answer that.)

1. If you were a dessert, what dessert would you be?
   I’d be bread pudding. With NO raisins. I’m not sure why people take a perfectly perfect thing like bread pudding and put raisins in it. Yes. Bread pudding, served warm with a buttery-bourbony-caramely-(heavenly)-sauce, is about as cozy as you can get. There was a bread pudding I used to love at a place called Murphy’s Irish Pub in Sonoma, CA. I’d want to be THAT one. In truth, I may be more like an ice cream cone, but I strive to be bread pudding.

2. What is your usual order at a diner?
   Depends on where I am. If I’m at a “nicer” diner, it’s a toss up between corned beef hash & eggs and eggs Benedict. If I’m in New Mexico or California, it’s huevos rancheros with chili verde. If I’m in any classic American greasy spoon, it’s eggs over-medium, toast, and hash browns covered in melted cheddar cheese. And of course, COFFEE.

3. If you were an animal, what would you be?
   I’d be a hawk. Easy.

4. What was the last gift you gave someone?
   A painting. To raise money for our local (beloved) Boys & Girls Club of America.

5. What is an unpopular opinion you have?
   Steak is gross. And Jack Johnson’s music freaks me out.

6. What advice would you give your former boss?
   Stop advising women to wear prettier bras and tighter pants. #metoo

7. What was your best day at work?
   You mean, as a painter? Please don’t laugh, but I don’t have one… because every day is the best and I can’t even call it “work.” I’m one of those people that’s a little down on Friday evening and excited on Monday morning. But, if I had to pick, a recent day comes to mind: It was a Saturday. The sun was shining, it was about 75 degrees outside, all the windows were open, I was BLASTING PJ Harvey’s album “To Bring You My Love,” and I was painting while dancing (terribly).

8. Which year of your life would you like to relive?
   Hmm. I think first of 1996, my senior year of high school. And then to 2000, my last year of college. Then to the year(s) of my divorce. But honestly, I wouldn’t relive any of it or change any of it. There were gifts in these times and if I hadn’t had them, I wouldn’t have learned a damn thing. Now, I’m going to answer this a different way: I would relive 1985. I was 7-years-old, my grandpa was still alive, and I spent most days under water or the trees. That’s the year I would relive just to feel it all again. (And I’d maybe call Marv Levy and tell him a few things about the decade to come…)

9. Which superpowers would you choose?
   To fly.
   

10. Would you rather have a personal chef or a personal trainer?
    Chef! Especially one gifted in Asian cooking.

11. What would you title your autobiography?
    “Cutting the Grass with Scissors.”

12. If you could have dinner with any two people from history, dead or alive, who would you choose?
    Grace Gorman (my gramma who passed years ago) and my love, Logan. They need to meet. And we’d order bread pudding.