Having just a little is quite enough.

Today.

I have many days like this. The brushes are heavy, the paint works against me, the fumes consume, the flow is nonexistent. The beautiful, healthy tension between ease and work is not here. My words drag as I write. It takes some focus and reminders to not go into the ‘ole song of, “I’m no good, I can’t do this…” I KNOW that is not the way to spend today.

On days like this, my heart sits quietly in my chest. I am neither upset or thrilled. I am a fraction of my “normal” self and it’s for no particular reason. Could be exhaustion. Could be dehydration. Could be mercury retrograde.

It could be me forgetting (and not accepting) that it’s just an “off day.”

We all have them, don’t we? The days when the clock is running slower than usual and we’ve put on 100 extra pounds. Bedtime can’t come soon enough and all the things-to-do in-between now and then feel like impossible feats.

It’s not depression, it’s not painful. It’s just.... blah. I can’t create well in this place. But I can show up.

It’s days like these I have to remember NOT to FORCE it. I remind myself to sit quietly in the fog of it, breathing, being, listening to what it’s trying to say. Some days I hear, “rest.” Other days I hear, “walk.” Today I hear, while holding my head in my hands, “be where you are.”

Hmmm. Be where I am. Without judgment or resistance. Feel. Do not over-analyze. Accept that this is where I am today and I don’t need to make sense of it.

Be. The minimum of me, even.

I am here. With my limitations, showing up as much as I can.

This weak post—made up of weary sentences and shallow depths—is what I have to give, today.

Today, the minimum is enough.

Breathing is enough.

Being is enough.

I must give to myself on this day of little so tomorrow has a chance of being more. Even if it’s not more, that will be okay, too.

Thanks for reading,
e